AmberSheree

Desires of my Heart

2006-09-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

Wow!!!! Refreshed Passion and Renewed Strength. Those are my feelings in a nut shell. Last night was amazing. I took Haley, Ashlyn, Taylor, and KT to the Barlow Girl with Matthew West and Down Here concert last night. It was amazing. There's something to be said about Christians that rock, literally. They have so much fun on stage. I can only imagine. I would love to get to be on stage, dancing and doing what I love every night. But even cooler is that they get to lead people closer to Jesus. A girl at the concert last night was leading a prayer and she said "Hey Jesus" I so wanna be that cool. We had a great time and ran into some people that we know. We also got to meet Barlow Girl, Matthew West and Down Here. So there's a lot going on in me. Here's where we start.

Thoughts:

Why do men and women (even Christian ones) act like Christian music is so awful? Why can't they just sink there teeth in and get into it and realize it's about ministry not the quality of music. I mean have you listened to the lyrics of the music that you are knocking? Oh my gosh. I so love my Jesus like that, why don't you? You know what I don't know any Chick bands that play as well as Barlow Girl. I can't even think of an all Girl band that I am willing to say the name of (because I think they're vulgar). Secondly, These girls can rock and they are passionate about making young people's lives better. Why would some one who peruses holiness knock a Christian band? I mean suck it up, it's not about you. Not all music can reach everyone. It's about the people that it does reach and you have no right to act like they're not good enough for you to listen to because you're so musically inclined and you think they're beneath you. What if Third Day or Skillet wouldn't give you the time of day and they thought that you were beneath them. So like Thumper's Father says "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." And before I get off my soap box I have to say they are your fellow Christians you should lift them up in their ministry because they've chosen to use they're talents for God. And there's something to be said for young girls screaming their heads off for people who promote such good things, and then in turn those people turning around a leading worship an those same young ladies worshiping like their lives depeneded on it. My girls are amazing. I love all of you. And men who think that Girly bands and innocent bands are cool and actually are good enough guys to go with their chick friends or younger sisters/family members are totally hot. There were several guys up in the front last night loving on Jesus to cool music. Ok I'm getting off the soap box. Some men are just on my nerves. And then there was this really awesome guy there last night who loved being there, he knows there's cooler music but he loves his little sister and wants to be in youth/children's ministry. He's so totally cool. Marshall you rock.

So God's really been dealing with me on passion and what I want to do. All I can do is cry every time I think about the future and what I want to do. I want to impact young ladies. Actually I want God to impact them, I just wanna be a tool. I want to be strong and independent and an example worthy of being looked up to. I want my husband, when God decides that it's time, to love youth as much as I do. I think I wanna do something with inner city or foster children. I wanna get involved. I want to help change young ladies perspective. That women can do anything they want, and God has an amazing plan for their lives. I don't know if I'll ever work full time in ministry, the very thought makes my soul wanna jump, but I do know that I very much have a burden. And I do see a need. I'm so ready for the people around me to know that ministry is a get to, not a have to. I so need some of those people in my life to catch a fire that won't go out. Not what you get at camp or emotional services (not that those aren't great) but I need it to stick in them. I'm ready for my friend to stop with their crap and realize that I'm not going to be their easy friend, I'm always going to put God back in the center of their thoughts and be that constant reminder. They deserve that, not like they should be tortured, but they deserve to know that God has something so much better. You don't have to figure it out all by your self because God knew you before you were even in your mother's womb. He ordained everyone of your steps and walks them with you. And bad things might happen but he promised that All things work together for the good of those that are called. The catch is, it's according to his will. Not yours. But if you're seeking his very best I guess it is your will. You may think you know what you want, but God has such a better plan. And he's already worked out all the kinks.

I know I'm talking a lot. There's just a lot I need to get off my chest. I am starting to feel like my thoughts are cluttering my head. I can't keep it all straight anymore. It's all there and emotional and then when I sit to write it's just all jumbled. Today it's coming out better. So I thought I'd just let it go. I don't even know if anyone reads this. I just know that I needed to get some stuff out. And my journal wasn't an option since I'm at work. I do need to go though since I am at work. Not that there's anything to do but I need to pretend. I love you guys.

What do I want?

2006-08-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been forever since I've last blogged. Well not forever but almost a year. Ava Grace will be a year old next month. Dance Expressions is about to turn two and Chris and I will have been together for a year next Monday Night/Tuesday Morning. It's amazing how much life can change in a short time. How much a person can change. So what's going on.

Um youth is great. This weekend is Slack Attack, Jerrid rededicated his life to Christ, he'll be there this weekend. Haley will be there this weekend, that's crazy. She's my baby, like the one I used to carry around. Tabbie and I get to be adults. lol. I'm not sure if Boo will ever be tough enough to kick us out of youth.

Chris is great. Actually he's amazing. He's the only guy (other than my dad, Richie, Jerrid, Scotty, Uncle Tim or my Grandfather) that's looked at me and I know that he loves me. The real me. The person that I only let a few people into when I do let me guard down. I love him so much. He really does look out for me. And wants to. I think he really understands the difference in have to and get to. That something I was scared I would never have in a guy. I was afraid I would end up with one like my dad. Not that I don't love him, but he makes that relationship so strained. I love him with my whole heart.

Katie Harris is helping me teach dance. This year's going to be fun. No over head, not chasing bills. Just fun. I'm keeping it as stress free as possible.

Home is better. I actually moved out for about three weeks because Dad was in a rut and Jerrid was just hateful. But looking back I know that he was running from God, and that will make anyone hateful.

So this is where I'm at: I have a new job that I love. It's so me. Lots of people to work with and only a limited number of clients to get to know and cater to. There's something new everyday. It's a field to get in and learn and either you love it or you hate it. I'm 5 weeks in, we'll see. See being back in the corporate world has really made me think about some things. I really want to move out and just be me for a little while. And at the same time I so wanna be with Chris. If God would ok it and Chris would ask I would marry him tomorrow. Ok well not tomorrow but I would start the planning process anyways. There's so many things that I want us to be and I feel like we're on our way but I don't think that we're there yet. I wanna be in ministry and I don't know that he does. I know there's a calling but I don't know if it's what he loves. I want to be so sold out that there's no other option than to tell people about Jesus and to help heal broken hearts. Chris told me one time that he knew that I had been given a talent or gift for counseling. So why doesn't he know that we need to be in ministry? Why can't we just push through the crap. Why doesn't he want to? I found the cutest Pampered Girl designer stuff. I so wanna do an apartment in it. I miss Chris. Like I really wish that I went home to him every night. I hate not getting to spend time with him throughout the week now that he's in School and I'm teaching. Not to mention that he's about to move to Saginaw. I can't stand that. He's going to be so far away. I want to be balanced and have my finances (Lord forgive me for swearing) under control before that. And I know that the time will come, I just have to sit and wait and I'm not good at that. I was so lonely yesterday afternoon after work. I just turned my music up and sang all the way home. It's probably because I didn't go to church Sunday because Chris and I went to Six Flags Sunday and then Wednesday night I was sick. Or it could have been because Chris snapped at me and didn't have time for me because of school. But I'm learning that my loneliness is God's cry for companionship. And Chris is going to be busy a lot more than he has been. For a year I've had him at my every wish. And now I have to learn to enjoy my alone time again. That's going to stink major. Anyways I need to get some work done.

Timing

2005-09-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, let's try this one more time. This will be the third time I've retyped this. The title of this blog was called timing until it ticked me off. Anyways here we go.

Have you ever noticed that God has amazing timing. Like when you least expect it and you think everything is just going to get worse it all just kinda works it's self out. I've had that kind of month. lol yeah month. I have a friend (that works in the same office with me) and she's going through a really bad break up with her girlfriend (yes you read that right and it's not a typo). So she was telling me about all the crap that's going on and then she started talking to me about how she thinks this is God's way of showing her that she's made some life choices that are wrong and that she's always felt guilty for them. Then she said "Amber, I can only put trust in the fact that God is the alpha and the omega, and that he has everything planned". And I told her that she was right, God does have everything under control. I then got to share with her how God works all things for the good of those who love him, and I know that I say that a lot but after everything I've been through I have to believe that it's true. As she told me how she had nothing left and she didn't think that she was good enough for anything anymore I simply shared Jer 29:11 with her. It's awesome to know that everything will be ok when you tell someone that. I believe that God sometimes has to take everything from us so that he can truely show us how much he loves us, and that if we'll let him he will handle everything. She is an amazing lady, with such a big heart and could be used to do so much. When I started working here I asked God to help me see them as he did. And while it's been hard, it has kept me from having a hard heart when they've done things on purpose to make my life harder. My boss is a very selfish person but I'm able to see that she's just trying to fill that void. I know that God is dealing with her. And I know that God has acutally gotten through to my friend. The last nine months here have been rather hard, not that it's a hard job, it's just hard to sit through all the immoral crap that goes on here: language, sexual comments towards me, immoral sexual comments from my friend's girl friend (that also happens to be my boss), it's just not all worth it, but then again right here in the end it is.
In other parts of my life, I'm learning that I'm really impatient, and that has created a really weird situation. And I know he's reading so I'll say it here and now, in black and white, "I'm sorry, I was wrong and I'm sorry." But you guys need to write it down because I only admit that I'm wrong about 3% percent of the time, the other 97% is for the men in my life. (lol you know I'm kidding). Anyways I'm learning that God's timing is everything, and that when I really think something is right if I'll wait it out chances are I don't even what that thing later, or if I do it's been totally worth the wait.

And last but most definatly not least, Ava will be here in about 48 hours. I'm so excited. They are going to induce on Thursday morning so as soon as I have pictures I will share. Anyways I need to go. I'm at work and getting nothing done. Talk to you guys later, FLICT you. byah.

MY GOD IS AMAZING!!!

2005-09-06T14:45:00.000-07:00

WOW, what a weekend. Not that it was a good one, but looking back it's cool to see how at work God really is in my life. I can't believe sometimes my ignorance to the situation and how God is really using it. But looking back I can truely see how God is working. It's true that All things work together for the good of those who are called. I can't really give you details about my weekend without disclosing some of my friends personal information and hurting some feelings so I'll just give you the jest of it.

There was a situation with my best guy friend, and I was afraid it was going to end our friendship. But my God is amazing, and he worked it for the best. And it is awesome to know that someone cares that much for me and respects me that much. And now we both know that we are where we should be with each other, and that best friends is ok. We have found a love for each other that not many people get to experience.

Also I had some family in town this last weekend. And I love them so much, but this weekend was trying. And by trying I mean on my patients and spiritually. But also this weekend I realized that the things I have been through and the hardships that I have faced in my past are all for a good reason. Because God works all things for the good of those who are called. It's funny how I'm able to see situations in other peoples lives because I've already lived through them. That's just amazing to me. That something that was so horrible can be used for God's will. That's amazing to me.

Audj has been to the hospitle several times. Ava is ready to be here and the Doctors aren't ready for her yet. Audj is very ready for her to be here too. They have another Doctors appointment on Friday. Hopefully we will get Ava this weekend.

I so wish I could explain in detail everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks. But it contains a lot of people's personal lives and a lot of feelings. I was so glad for the weekend to be over and to be coming back to work. I know that's sad after a three day weekend but hey its the truth. I had posted earlier and said that everything was Blurry. Well my friend told me that God is not the author of confusion but satan is. And it's funny how much your eyes open once you realize that. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. Anyways I need to go. Have a great day and keep pressing on. Love you

Amber

Life is Blunt

2005-09-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

It's a really hard fact to face when you realize that something to have believed in so much for so long is really not what you were searching for all along. Whether you've been chasing it for 6 months or 16 years, sometimes it really hurts to figure out that it's not what the chase has really been about. Does that make since? Like the dream that I've been pursuing for several years. It took me a really long time to know that my hobby wasn't who I am, it's just what I do. And then at the same time I have to realize that it's not the only thing I do, God has given me so many other talents that it's now time to pursue. Or that guy that you've been dating for awhile and it seems like there's so much there, and then one day it's just gone, and you don't really know why. But God always replaces it with something else. And always has something that you are supposed to be pursuing. Maybe it's a best friend, who wants to just make the world better when he sees you cry, and sometimes even when it doesn't fit his schedule he just knows that you need his company. Maybe it's a new dream. I guess its not really that I'm not following through with my dream it's that God had given me a new dream that really kinda ties to the old one. It's funny how I've gone from wanting to be a big corporate Woman who finds her way in a "man's world" to being completely ok with being the woman behind the amazing man of God. God made it very apparent to me that there have been several generations of "Proverbs 31" women in my family. And I do feel that I am called to be the next one. I've always been so scared that God would call me to and put me in a position that I couldn't handle. But then I realized it's not about me. God isn't my tool to take out of my box when I need him and put him back in. Actually it's quite the opposite. I'm his tool and he intends on using me in every situation. I know that the people that are in my life right now are the people that are helping to shape my life, because they are also being used as tools.

On a different note: Audj is really close to being a mommy. She had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and they admitted her for a little while to watch her blood pressure. Then they sent her home on bed rest. Yeah, she was happy. She called me yesterday and told me she needed a spoon. When I asked her what for she said to pluck her eyeballs out because she was so bored. Anyways she has another appointment on Friday and they might induce depending on the baby's health and her blood pressure.

Last night in praise and worship was awesome. Chris being there might have had something to do with it. lol. He's the most awesome guy ever. I tell him he's my favorite. Well sometimes I tell him he's not my favorite. He's really mean to me sometimes (all in love I'm sure) but then I tell him he's not my favorite anymore. It's awesome to have someone that really listens to your problems, and really cares about your well-being. And more importantly when I won't tell him about my problems he just prays, knowing that he's put it in bigger hands. I know he is honestly a God send. I have very few friends that I'm that close to, and even fewer that I can discuss my Christian walk with.

Anyways other than just the whole Christian walk thing and yesterday being a weary day in my walk, yesterday was still pretty crappy. Mom called me right before I met up with Chris to go to church and we were talking about stuff that I'm really stressed out about and she made me cry right before he got there. Then he wanted to know what was wrong and that made me cry. It was just bad. But then I got into church and we finally got to worship and I decided to just get lost. And wow its amazing to know that God will just rescue you. That's my new favorite song, Rescue. It says:

I need you Jesus come to my rescue
Where else can I go
No other name by which I am saved
Capture me with Grace
I will follow you

That is exactly where I was at last night. Everything seems to build up around me and I just need to get out. I just needed God to form a barrier between me and the world and then for me to make to conscience statement I will go where ever you send me and do whatever you ask of me. Wow I needed last night. Anyways I have ratteled so much today. I have so much to say and so much emotion and very little time to get it all in. I just want to share everything that is happening.

Oh yeah my grandmother, who has never cut her hair in her life, is getting a hair cut this weekend. Aunt Freda and Kelly and Aunt Betty and Brittany are coming in for the event. It's going to be so awesome. Anyways I really need to go, Love ya, C ya byah.
~Amber Sheree

Bored

2005-08-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

I'm so bored. lol. Wow I don't think I'm really that bored I just know that I have so much more to do and I can't get it done while at work. Audj is about to be here though and she's bringing icecream. Yea!!!! Ice cream makes the world go round. (yeah right, well maybe just my world). I really don't have anything spiritual to say today. I really don't have anything to say that's profound. I'm just kinda here. I have so much that's going on I just don't even know how to start saying any of it. Tabbie had a blah day on Wednesday, Today is my turn. lol. Anyways I wish some one would get online so I would have someone to talk to. Ok well I guess I really don't need to just sit here and rattle about nothing, so I guess I'll go. Talk to you later. Love ya,
~Am~

Lonely

2005-08-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like no matter how close someone is, you're still so far away? Am I the only person that goes through this? I hate it. As in I'm not fond of it at all. It just seems like all my friends are going through so much right now. Audj is having a baby, Jess is getting married, Court is starting school and dealing with an ex boyfriend. I just feel like there's no one to turn to sometimes. Like my friends that I'm the closest to have their own agenda. Maybe this is God's way of bringing "better" friends into my life. I know that there are people that love me and care about me, but when most of them talk it's like they're talking down to me. Like they have so much more insight to my life than I do. But it seems like the people I identify best with are on a different level now. Maybe that's what God is showing me. Maybe I'm the one that's changed. Chris is such an awesome friend. He came over last night and had dinner with me and watched a movie. He wanted me to go to this College and Carreer thing with him tonight. It's with Kingwood's group. I really would love to hang out with him. But I really don't feel like meeting new people tonight, or being entertaining. I just want to be in my worship service, with my girls. You know how some times you just feel like you need to be in your worship service and not being pushed? Anyways I just wanted to post. I just needed to get some stuff out.

On a different note: Audj said that yesterday she went to the Doctor and they think that the baby has turned. Thank God! They also said that they think the baby is going to be a big baby. And I have to be in the delivery room. I'm so glad she's coming and I'm so glad it's Audj and not me, (lol. Ok that was mean I know but you know you would have said the same thing)!!!

Barry and I got in a fight. A real one. And I think it's my fault. I'm not real fond of the situation right now. I think he's scared of me. I know I'm out there and a little abrasive at times but I don't know what I did. I don't understand. Anyways I'm putting it in God's hands. I prayed along time ago that if this was to be then he would persue it. And he is, Kinda. I think he's stuck where I was about a month ago. About not knowing where to go or how to go about it. It's really hard praying and not hearing an answer. But sometimes God doesn't want us to do anything except stand there. I had to just slow down, and stop trying so hard. I really do care about him. I feel safe with him. I know it's crazy. But he reminds me so much of my Daddy. And then he kinda has Uncle Timmy's personality too, he doesn't really say much unless there's something that needs to be said. I hate fighting with him. I don't even know how to act with him. I wanna hug him and tell him that I'm not ticked. That it's all ok and I just want to forget it. But then there are times that I feel like he thinks of me as a friend. I hate that. I don't have "friend" feelings for him. But then again, God knows I can't be hurt again. After this weekend I think He knows that too. I do trust him. With my life, not my heart. But I don't trust any guy with my heart.

Anyways I need to go. This is turning into a small book. I miss having friends and us all hanging out together. Seems like the older we get the more we drift away from each other. My friends are wanting me to go to Auburn this weekend. I'm not really feeling it but I may. I need to get away. Anyways until I talk to you later. Have a great day.

Love ya, ~Amber

I need Wisdom

2005-08-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been a week. I have been busy busy and I really can't wait for things to level out. I'm in a transitional phase it feels like. I hate not having a routine. Ok so if you read this and you have some advice for me please leave it, I'm really struggling here. My little sister (well ok she's my God sister, but she's also my dance assistant and one of my best friends) is really just making stupid desicions. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that God has this under control, I just don't know how to handle it. She had been dating this guy and I really, really (REALLY) don't like him. It's not just a personality conflict or something like that. I really did try to like him, and had decided to just let it go and be nice to him. But then I found out some actions that he had taken against my baby girl and now I want to kick him in is throat. I REALLY don't like him. Anyways they had broken up and she was dating other guys and doing so well, and accomplishing so much for her self, gaining so much self esteem, and finding out who she is, and he just came back in and is sweeping it all out from under her. My whole dance studio is centered around helping young girls know their own self worth and not finding it in a guy. And I can't even help my little sister. She is so awsome, and he is so not worth her. The emotional abuse that goes on in that relationship breaks my heart. He tells her that she's not good enough to date him, and that he could find someone better. She is so living my life. It's so weird. The exact things I delt with with Matthew are happening in her life. And she saw it happen in my life, but can't see it in her own. She really thinks that he will change. I just want her to know that she's worth so much more and God has so much for her. They aren't back together, and she knows that we hate him. Well ok not hate, but I REALLY don't like him (have I said that already?). There is so much more that goes on than what I've said here, it's just not my place to tell. I really don't know what to do. I want to just back out and let go and Let God. But I know that's not really the situation in this case. I just feel like she's going to have to crash and burn before she's going to decide that it's not worth it. I don't know how people delt with me while I was with Matt. I have no clue. I know that people saw the same thing in me and that I came around because I was running from God. I later delt with my self esteem issues. I don't know that there's anyone speaking God into her life. I guess that's why I feel like I have to stay in here, whole heartedly. It would be so much easier to just scream at her. If you knew her you would understand. She's beautiful, perfect body, cheerleader, she can dance too. She dresses cute and drives a cute car, she was popular in highschool. When she walks in a room everyone knows it. She's smart and going into pre-med. I mean it doesn't get much better being a girl. And this guy is such scum. Short of God he'll never change. And I don't want bad things for him, don't take it like that. I just don't want him around her. I wish I could make her see what she's worth. I wish that she saw what I saw. I'm hoping she'll go to church with me tomorrow. But I don't know. I'm scared to push too hard. I'm scared she'll shut me out too. Anyways if you have any advice please drop me a line. I love you guys.

Amber G

Hey Guys

2005-08-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a weekend. I haven't had a weekend where I got to do what I wanted in a long time. I babysat the most amazing kids on Friday night for a friend of mine. They are the sweetest kids in the world and I got paid really well to play with them. So anyways I took the money that I made babysitting them and spent it all on clothes. Yes I was completely irrisponsible with it. And then I had a cookie from The Great American Cookie Company, and a diet coke. I know I know it doesn't make any since but I really wanted to cookie and diet coke is all I care to drink. Double Doozies are the best. Nothing like that to get your blood sugar outta wack, and your emotions back in line. LOL. Anyways, I had a great time at church yesterday. I so just needed to be in God's presence. And then I went to my Aunt Marcia and Uncle Timmy's new house and she made me a grilled cheese sandwich. It was great. The best grilled cheese and bologna in the world comes from her house. Uncle Tim looked at my proposal for Valley View for the dance studio while I was there and he said that he thought it looked really good. He also said that he was going to ask pastor David about me teaching there since there are several people that are asking me to hold classes over there. I really love my family they are so awsome. Well my extended family. My family was crazy yesterday. I went home so that I could have lunch with them and they fought the whole time. But I did buy some new hangers yesterday so that I could put my clothes up. I think it's time to have a yard sale. I have so much crap. And so many clothes that I don't wear. I need someone Choleric to come and help me clean my closet out. I'm always afraid to throw anything away because I may want to wear it one day. But yesterday I became really anxious. I had this sudden fear that I wouldn't be able to wear it all. lol. I know it's funny but I'm serious. Anyways I guess I need to get to work. I'm at work but that doesn't mean that I'm doing anything for real (as opposed to for fake. lol. I crack me up). I'll talk to you guys later. Love you all. Peace out

I'm not griping this time, I promise.

2005-08-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

This has been a rather successfull week. And it's only Wednesday. I'm really excited about the studio and yes I've decided to go ahead with it (like you can even imagine me not dancing)! I talked with one of my really Godly, amazing friends (not naming any names, Tabbie Lynn) and she told me that I already knew what to do, it was just a hard decision. She pretty much just said suck it up and do it, in a round about way. But that's ok, sometimes I need so Jesus with some skin on to put it in my face. I can be really choleric sometimes, and when it's convienent I can be really sanquin. LOL. Anyways, so I saw some of my girls last night and it helped me remember why I do what I do. It's like when you are in a dry spell and you have an amazing encounter with God, you know how excited you are and ready to serve him. Well seeing my girls last night kinda rekindeled the fire and passion for my calling. I know that I'm called to teach little girls and teenage girls that it's ok not to be average, because God made us exceptional, and the way he wanted us. We don't need to meet the standards of this world, and we don't have to find our values in some guy. And through teaching them about the self worth that they find in them selves I know that they will see a difference in my life and I will be able to share Christ with them. Wow, I don't know that I've ever put that in black and white. Nothing like a bunch of 12 year old girls to hold you accountable.(haha) But I love them, and it is worth it. They are awsome young ladies, I just hope that they can see it in them selves. I don't really know what purpose dance has served in my life other than giving me a self convidence level that most teenage girls didn't have and allowing me to show others their own self worth. Anyways to sum it all up, I know that I'm called and there are alot of hard decisions coming up that I'll have to make, but it's going to be worth it. My God promised never to give me more than I can handle.

On another note: If you ever read my blog and I talk about you in it and you don't like it for some reason, you can tell me and I'll take it down, but until then, I'll tell you what all is going on.

So Audrey's baby shower is this Sunday, if you read this and you weren't invited but you go to church with me don't get your feelings hurt, there's two showers. Long story. Don't ask. lol. Anyways that means that Ava Grace is going to be here soon. Like real soon. I'm so excited. Her due date is September 22nd. That's like 50 days from to day. Yes I'm counting down.

And Chris just bought a new Car. WOW I'm so excited. We are so going out in his car when we hang out from now on. It's a 2005 Camrey. It's white with gold trim. I can't wait to see it. We're hanging out Thursday night.

And last, but most definately not least, Barry met my family two weekends ago. And by family I don't mean mom, dad and Jerrid I mean like Me-Maw, Pa-Paw, Aunt Marcia, Uncle Tim, Haley, Scotty, Aunt Betty, Uncle Steve, Brittany, Thomas (well he's not family but he did propose to Brittany and he will be soon), Bethany, Dallas, Breanna and Paton. Not to mention that he met Audrey too. I'm sure he was overwhelmed, even if he won't admit to it. It really wasn't a test but he must really like me to put up with all of that. Breanna crawled all over him. And Haley told me that she wouldn't mind having him in the family. A little far I think, and a little further down the road than I'm thinking, but I think she's Sanquin like me and Marcia, so she tends to jump in head first like we do. lol. He also asked me to come up this weekend and go to church with him. I can't but I really, REALLY, like the fact that he asked. I really want to meet his parents. And I really appreciate the fact that he doesn't let me push him around, like on things that really matter. Like us being together. And I really think that God's timing is playing a major role in this relationship. It's really awsome.

Anyways I need to shut up and stop typing. I stayed at Aunt Marcia's and Uncle's Tims night before last (well actually it's Darlene's and Gregs, but they live there too). I had a lot of fun and got to just be with my Aunt Marcia for awhile. And I got to hang with Scott and Haley. I love those kids so much. Sooooo.... I guess I'll go and get some work done. or atleast try to get some done. Peace out homie G.

~Amber Sheree G.

What the Crap???

2005-07-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

I really, really have a hard time understanding all that's going on sometimes. Like I've been dealing so much with God's will for my life, and when all else fails to just stand. And it feels like all I'm doing is standing. I really don't like the feeling at all, and I'm not ok with it. I'm a head first, whole hearted or nothing kinda person. And this is just not cutting it. But then again I guess I should just be obedient, and stand here. I love the studio, i love it so much, and more importantly I love my girls, but I don't know that it's what I'm supposed to do. I'm at a stopping point and I don't have any direction on what to do or where to go with it. I really miss dancing, it's been like 6 weeks since i've even put dance shoes on. that's the longest I've gone in 2 years. Of course I've been injured and that's why it's been so long. I hurt my ankle back in June and haven't been able to do much of anything on it, other than walk. And I don't mean to gripe but no one listen's so I feel like I have to get it out somewhere. I do have great friends, and I'm dating a great guy, but every now and then you just need that friend that will just listen and not talk back and not offer advice, and just hold you and let you cry. And I don't have any of those right now. It's all about them, and it should be, there are a lot of big things going on in their lives right now. But that doesn't change where I'm at. I'd love to just go and wait in the alter and cry and pray but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere there either. I don't feel anything, that's why I'm guessing that I should just stand. That way I'm not going in any direction with out God. I won't move backward and I'm scared to take a step, so what now? Sometimes I just want that one friend that I can depend on, that doesn't always have a problem. That every now and then they get to be my crutch instead of me always being their's. Anyways enough griping and whining, I'm acting like a big baby. I need to suck it up and get back to work. And I promise one day I'm going to have a blog that isn't full of just crap. I am going to have good day, at some point. I love you guys.

My God is so Amazing

2005-07-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

This week at camp has been great already. Actually it was great on Monday. I've never been to a camp like this. I truely believe that this is the group of kids that it will take to shake Alabama. They are so passionate. God is moving in this camp like I've never seen before, and not just in teenagers. The leaders at this camp are getting ministered to also. I know that God is moving and shaking in my own life. That he's taking me to the next level. And it's taking a lot of trust. Because sometimes I don't feel like I'm capable of doing what he's telling me to do. Carrie confirmed in my life, and Boo did too, that I need to take that nudge and do what I'm told. That I am where I'm suppose to be and that I'm doing what I'm told to do. It's kinda funny but even Scotty has spoken into my life, being soft to the spirit like he always is. He told me that the things that I'm worrying about with my little brother and the decisions that I've made have been the right ones.

I talked to one of Alex's friends from high school that is now in Iraq, and his cousin Ashley. They both assured me that Alex was a Godly man and that they are sure of his place in heaven. It's very comforting to hear that and to know that I will see him again. This week has been hard, because there are so many memories with him there at that camp. But then again I wouldn't trade them for anything. I need to get back to work. Talk atcha later. Byah

What are we really doing it For???

2005-07-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

This is a post that my Friend Dan Email to me. He sends me a devotion every day but today's really stood out to me. Hope you get the same things out of it that I did. Love ya, Am

~ Matthew 16: Healthy Discouragement ~

Matt 16:24
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.NKJVThis verse continues to amaze me, even after reading it countless times. I mean, C'MON Jesus! You won't get much a following by telling people to come follow you after telling them to "take up his cross", and "let him deny himself". I think reading this really speaks to how much we sometimes want to sugarcoat Christianity, with things like "God will give you the best, no matter what," and "If you come to God, your life will automatically be blessed with riches beyond measure." Jesus didn't say that. In fact, he said the opposite!!! He said if you desire to be his disciple, that you must sacrafice your very life! All your hopes, dreams, plans for the future...gone. In doing this he presented the truth: God has a better purpose for your life than we could ever imagine. I may want 5,000 cones of ice cream as a child, but my Father knows better. He's going to give me the best fufillment I could ever want - By working for his kingdom. I just have to be willing to crucify my desires and follow him!

Reality

2005-06-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life has a way just letting you know how real it is sometimes. My friend (that I haven't seen in 3 years) was shot in killed in Iraq on June 21st. I used to date his brother and he was like a big brother to me when I was little. We got the call last Thursday and the Funeral was today. I went to both the Viewing last night and the funeral and the burrial today. I've never had anyone that young and close to me die. I didn't know it was going to effect me like it was. To see someone that used to do back hand springs down the church hallways laying there, just not moving, lifeless. It's even more weird that it's Alex. He was invincable. He wasn't a saint but he loved everyone so much. Even people he didn't know he would go out of his way for. He was in my youth group when I was 12 until I was 18. He's the one that taught me how to worship. He's prayed with me, and for me, and let me learn from his mistakes. His family has drifted away from church and his brother is actually an atheist now. How does someone that has experienced God on such a level just turn their back on him and not even believe that he exists? I just wanted to ask him where he thought his brother was, and what he thought he was doing or if he thought he was just there. Steve an old youth pastor of ours used to say that he thought that you just laid there and pushed up daisies. I wonder what Adam really thinks. What was awesome about his funeral was that no one has bad memories of Alex to share. Everyone has the same memories that me and my friends do of him. Him dancing (and not well might I add, but not caring either), singing horrible 70's songs like he was stuck in a time warp, and him always helping someone. He was our hero, our Superman. At the funeral they played a lot of his favorite songs, The Dance, Save me, Time of your life, and they all explain Alex. They also played Held by Natalie Grant, and Home Sick by Mercy Me. They all make since, God never said it would be perfect, he said he would hold us. And I've always understood when older people died. It's supposed to be that way but not Alex. He was 23. Tell me how that makes any sense at all. I can't help but think that he's watching all of us, planning what we'll all do once we get to heaven. And I'm sure God's done told him to calm down and go to his side of heaven that he had too much energy and he was making him tired. It's the only real hope that I have, and the only thing helping through. Steve used to say "first one the Jesus wins!", so Alex I guess you won Buddy. I love you, and I miss you. ~Amber Sheree

Faith

2005-06-20T15:34:00.001-07:00

Learning to exercise my faith is going to kill me I do believe. First of all being part choleric like I am it's really hard to give something to God and let him keep it. I just feel like taking it back sometimes. And secondly placing faith in people, namely boys, is really hard also. Since my ex is the evil person that he is. Barry and I were talking the other night and I came to a realazation. First of all, I feel like God has placed Barry in my life for a reason. So I have no fear with going forward at all. I feel completely safe with the situtaion. However Barry doesn't think that we should be serious. Which can be viewed two ways. 1) I see it as he doesn't want to commit to me, and after I went through everything with Matthew I just see it as he wants to see other people. But also it could be seen as 2) he knows that we're not really ready for that since we live so far away and he doesn't want either of us to get hurt. Which I respect since most guys don't mind hurting whoever they're with aslong as it doesn't hurt them. I appreciate that he watches out for me. But I also think that there's a third part to be considered. God has placed Barry in my life for one of two reasons, and maybe it's both. I know that he's here to teach me to trust again. That not all guys are out to hurt me. And to show me what truely caring about someone is really about. That it's possible to care about someone and a guy not have a hidden motive. I know that he respects me and I love that. I do really care about him. And I know that he cares about me. Maybe he is the one and God just doesn't want it to move too fast, and that's all that Barry really keeps saying. That he doesn't want things to move too fast and someone get hurt. It's funny how after I argue with him then I see his point. Never when we're actaully discussing it. I guess that's my choleric coming out, and he's Phelgmatic and just doesn't like confrontation. I hate how God always has something for me to learn in every situation. And that I tend to be wrong about most situations when I won't budge. I guess God has a way of teaching humility to even the strongest willed. I'm going to youth camp. It's going to be awesome to spend a week in God's Presents. Even though I'm going to have to some back to work a good bit of the time during the day. I'm at work and I guess I need to go and pretend to do something that they pay me to be here for. Talk to you later. Byah

Wow it's been almost a month since I posted!!

2005-06-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

Okay so really the reason I'm posting is because Tabbie is getting on to me, and I know that she needs something to read at work! Anyways it's been a couple of crazy weeks. Recital was a week ago today, and yes it has taken me this long to recover. Actually I spained my ankle Saturday after the show and then I got sick on Wednesday and I've not had a voice until today. It really bites to not be able to talk when that's what you do the best.

I was telling Barry last night how cool it is that God reveals stuff to me in perfect timing. I was thinking the week before recital how weird it was that my ex wasn't going to be there. Because for the last four years all he had heard me talk about was dance. And then it hit me that even if he and I were together he wouldn't have been there. He was never there. Because he didn't love me. All this time I was worried about never falling in love again and so scared that I woudn't be a mom and a wife. And then I realized that he never loved me anyways. But God has promised to prosper me and not to harm me, plans of hope and a future. And he's also promised that he's given me the desires that are in my heart, and that he totally plans on fulfilling them. I had invited people to my recital that really mean a lot to me; Matt "Boo" & Carrie (my youth pastors), Aunt Marcia and Uncle Timmy (who are my spiritual Parents), and my God parents Susanne and Carl Carrier, and all of them came to support me. I think most of them knew that it was more of a God thing for me than just a recital. I have placed the whole last year in God's lap and told him to do with it what he will. And I think that he's using it, to not only stretch my faith, but allowing me to minister to children through it. I also think that God has shown in the last few months what love really is. I know that all the people that were there at recital with me really love me. Tabbie, Audrey, DJ, and Scotty are all of my friends that pulled together to help pull this recital off. Tabbie and Audrey really stepped up with I needed them the most and helped me pull through as not only the director of the show but also a performer. I'm learning with Barry what true friendship and love is really about. It's about caring more about the other person than yourself, which after Matt is something that I didn't think I could ever do again. I'm learning to trust him, and his decisions, and work things out without getting up set. I'm learning to see things through God's eyes and learning that his plan is better than my own (even though I choleric and that's really hard for me!).

Recital could not have been more perfect, not even if the girls didn't miss a beat, and some of them did, but I know that they gave it there all and I'm so proud of them for it. I love them all so much and this week has been so hard not seeing them.

Let's see........what else is going on? Audrey is having a girl (yea! dance class here we come). Her name is going to be Ava Grace, and I will probably call her by both names, just because I want to instill her southern roots in here. I'm so excited, only three more months. I'm going to youth Camp, as a counsler, that's a little weird. I used to hate people like me, lol. I'm not going on the cruise I was planning because mom is freaking out about the chick that is missing in Aruba. And I know that I have to honor her decision and I'm not talking bad but can we just step back and think for a second. Do I even go to clubs in America, where I know how to get around? And do I drink? See both of these would be the factors leading to her abduction. And might I point out that I'm not even going to Aruba!!!! It was a cruise, to mexico. The worst thing that could have happened is I could have gotten some bad water. But truth be told I probably wouldn't have let my daughter go either. But you can bet mom is so going to make up for it with a really great road trip, and it will include them parks. I love you mom, but you know I'm right. Anyways I think that's about it. Summer classes are about to gear up at the studio and I'm excited. I can't wait until my ankle is well again so that I can dance. I love you guys. Talk to you later. Byah ~ Amber Sheree

Standing

2005-05-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

You know it's funny when you start to see things in your life that people have spoken over you actually coming true. Not that I doubt God, I just think it's kinda cool that God gave someone a word for me, and it hits so close to home. About a year ago I guess Mrs Dennise and Boo both told me that I was being called in a place that was hard to stand, but that if I would take the stand, it would be worth it. Just that happened this weekend. I was at my cousins house in Georgia for her graduation. Me maw and Pa paw, Aunt Marcia and haley and me and mom were all there. Aunt Freda, Richie and Kelly where there all week and Uncle Jerry came in on Friday. On Friday night Uncle Jerry approached my mom and started discussing my grandfather in a very disrepectful tone. And while I understand that my grandfather is sick and starting to not act like himself, he is still and has always been an awesome man of God. My mom didn't get upset she just told him that she understood what he said, but she stood her ground. I'm so proud of her for being lead by the Holy Spirit.

The same night after Kelly's graduation, she wanted me to go out with her. And I told her I would go out, but I wasn't going partying. But of course that's what her plans consisted of. It took a lot for me to go against the flow, but I told her I wasn't going. She tried to guilt trip me and I just looked at her. My 10 year old baby cousin was also there and was watching my every move. There's no way I could let her think that that kind of behavior is ok or exceptable. I love her and life is going to be hard enough for her without all of the other influences pulling on her. Anyways I know it's not a big deal but I was very excited to see God working in my life this weekend. Talk to you guys later. Byah

So, What's up with no Day off?

2005-05-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

I really, really, think it's time for me to have a day off! I really don't think I can take another week like this. I was supposed to be off tomorrow and now I'm not. And I am going to be off on Friday but I'm traveling all day and going to my cousin's graduation in Georgia so it doesn't really count.

But I'm not griping. I love my life. It's the reason I wake up every morning. I would do so much to get to go to youth camp right now. I know I'm to old but I really could just handle being around all christian influences for a week, and no one knowing that I own the local dance studio. I so just want to curl up on my couch for a couple of hours and sleep with blankets and a lot of pillows. I wanna just take a vaca with all my friends. Us just pile up in a car and go I don't even care where. It would be so great. I would be extatic.

But on a good note........Recital is 33 day away and I'm 33 days away from being stress free. I am totally excited about the recital, I'm just really stressed out by it. But a lot of friends are going to help, and my family is going to be close by. Everyone that I'm close to, Stephen, Alanna, Audrey, Tabbie, DJ, Uncle Tim and Aunt Marcia, Nash and Melissa Wills, Boo and Carrie Britt, Carl, and Susanne, they're all going to be there. And most will be there to help. I can't wait. It really is going to be a great day. I can't wait to see everyone that day and for it to be over that night and us to be eating at O'Charleys.

My Daddy graduated from college Friday night. It's such a relief. It's great to know everything is over now. Well except for the registry. I saw Kingdom of Heaven Saturday night. It's a really great movie. But I love war movies. I also went to 3 Doors Down concert this weekend. And mother's day was great too. I think that's about it. I didn't really do anything else. Didn't have much time. I'll right later. Need to get to work. ~Amber Sheree

I mean really could I just get a break?

2005-05-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a day where you woke up and tried I mean really tried to have a good day and be in a good mood and things just kept getting worse? Well that's my life today. I feel so horrible. It's really funny how Satan tries to use things against you. Like I woke up today and it was just like everything is weighing on me. I don't feel good, I think I'm getting strep throat. But other than that it just feels like everything is about to fall apart. I really hate that I work 60 hours a week and feel like I can't take off from work even though I'm sick. So anyways I get to work and my ex boy friend calls just out of the blue. And I know that I'm not to talk to him. But it is so nice to have someone call that just lets me cry. He knows that I'm going to find a solution to my problems and that I don't want his advice, but he lets me cry to get it off my chest. I never have to worry about him throwing it in my face or being involved in it because he's never been involved with my family. He was my best friend and I never should have dated him. But I did and now I know I'm not supposed to have anything to do with him anymore, so I just don't. I don't really miss him, I think I just miss having someone there. And this whole "just dating" thing is getting on my nerves. I'm very much a commitment person, and I do things whole heartedly. I dont know how to just date. That's weird to me. I understand that he doesn't want to get hurt but loves a gamble right? You don't get to pick and choose. I guess everything will fall into place. I'm sure that there's a reason that everything is happening the way that it is. I just feel like it's trying to kill me in the process. I do have really great friends though that help me through it. Anyways I really need to get back to work. ~ Amber

The Best Weekend Ever

2005-04-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

I had the absolute most amazing weekend possible for a Christian 21 year old girl. That's right, no one else's weekend could have even compared to mine. It started with me, Audj (my Best friend for life, literaly), and Casey all going to State Fine Arts to watch my youth group compete. When they did there large group spoken drama it was so awesome. And it by the way one first place in the state. The kids in our youth group are just so awesome. I love them all so much. They get along (well better than you would expect 40 teenagers to) so well. They make sure they support everyone and they are so happy for a proud of each other. I remember thinking Friday night and all day Saturday as they were coming off the stage "yeah those are my kids, they go to my church". And "You just wish you had kids that great". They really do rock. Saturday was like the longest day ever. I got up and me and Haley (she spent the night with me Friday night) started over to Kingwood. We got some Chick-fil-a for breakfast and got to fine arts at like 8:45. Fine Arts lasts all day so we broke for lunch at like 12:00. Me, Boomer, and Wes all went to Del Toro to eat lunch. That was totally weird, just me and the two guys. We talked about church stuff and the things we wanted to do coming up. It's so cool to hear someone talk about their future and say "well whatever God wants me to do". It's awsome to feel like there's someone else out there that might know where you're coming from and feel the same way you do about things. Especially when the rest of the world is trying to talk you out of everything you've worked so hard to restore in your life. It's nice to know that I have friends that understand the God Stuff. Ok so right before Fine Arts was over and they announced the scores and who won, there was a comedian that is a friend of Aunt Marcia and Uncle Tim that got up to speak and dude he was so funny. He is living proof that you don't have to cuss or be vulger to have a great time and really be funny. He is so amazing. His wife really rocks too. Ok so Saturday night came and went and we won a lot of the catagories. We left there about 8:00 Saturday night. I had a message from CourtNicole that she had gotten a new car, so of course I had to go and see it. And you know we had to drive over to 280 to show Leigh Ann (Courtney's best friend and like my other little sister). So we went riding and got something to eat and went to Wally World (Wal-Mart) and then decided to head home. I got home about 11:45 and then went to bed about 2:00. I had to get up at 6:00 to go to Six Flags with Barry the next Morning. I left my house about 9:00 (I was supposed to leave at 8:00). Barry is the most patient guy ever. Or maybe just when it comes to me. But he wasn't mad that I was running late, because it really wasn't my fault that I had a flat tire. Anyways we met in Gadsden and went to Atlanta from there. We had such a great time. Six Flags was so empty. I think the longest that we waited to get on a ride was like 30 mins and that was the super man. But I'm not sure what was more fun, going to Six Flags or spending the day with Barry. It was just the 2 of us all day. With an exception to my phone ringing off the hook. But we had a great time. We headed home about 7:00 and then sat and talked until about 11:45. It was so great. I got home late, and everyone was in bed, so I went on to bed. But there you have it. The best weekend possible for a 21 year old, Christian girl. I know, I know, I'm a cheese ball but you know I don't really care anymore. It's really all about things that make me happy, not what the rest of the world thinks should make me happy. Anyways, gotta go. I'm supposed to me working. ~Byah

Just like every other day.

2005-04-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

I feel so bad. I feel asleep while talking to Barry last night. I so didn't feel good. Anyways, today has been so boring other than the fact that my puppy is here and she is keeping me on my toes since she's not potty trained yet. She's clawing at my leg right now because I won't pick her up. lol. anyways just thought that I'd blog for a minute. Guess I'll write later. Gotta go and get ready for youth. byah

My Birthday

2005-04-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today is my 21st Birthday. And it has been so great already, and it's only 11:00. Other than the fact that I'm at work, on Saturday. My two best friends, Audj and Court, took me out last night and we ate at my favorite restruant, Moes, and went to see the movie of my choice, Guess Who, it was so funny. And then of course we ended the night by going to Wal Mart. What else would 3 girls do on Friday night in Birmingham. lol. Anyways, Jeremy called to tell me happy birthday, and Barry called me last night right at midnight to tell me happy birthday. I got flowers yesterday for my birthday while I was at work. My Aunt Marcia, Uncle Tim, Haley and Scotty called me this morning and sang to me happy birthday. Courtney called me this morning and sang to me. And Audrey spent the night with me last night so as I was getting ready for work this morning she rolled over and said happy birthday. She bought me the coolest little pet taxi for my new puppy. She's too little for it right now but she'll grow into it. And she bought me a really cute pink purse last night. My puppy is so cute. Her name is Rockett. She was seven weeks old yesterday. Anyways so I'm sitting at work doing nothing. But hey, nothing is cooler than getting paid to do nothing. I'm Going to Joe's Crab Shack tonight with my friends to eat. Then we're having girl night at Leigh Ann's appartment. I guess I need to go. Not much else to say.

~Amber Sheree

Four Days until my B'day.

2005-04-12T14:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, I turn 21 on Saturday. I'm so excited. Anyways, so this weekend was really great. I got to see my friends from Arizona. Any they brought one of the girls from their youth group and she is so sweet. Her name is Sarah and she rocks. I also got to play with Jenn and Jason's kids, Jake, Jodi, and Jada. They are so cute. I had so much fun with them. There's a chance that they might move back out here and I really hope that they do. But of course first and formost I want them to stay in the will of God.

Ok so in studio news, costumes are coming in, and they are so cute. I got a new facility for the recital that has a real stage, and curtins and lights and everything. I'm so exited. And it's less than half the cost of the other place that I was going to use. Recital is going to be great this year.

Stephen is getting to come home from Spain soon. He emailed me yesterday to tell me. I'm going to six flags on Sunday the 24th of April with Barry. He's so great. I'm so excited I get to spend the whole day with him. I love six flags. It's like the happiest place on earth. Well in my world anyways. I'm going on a cruise in September, with a girl named Crystal. It's going to be great. It's the singles, yes singles, cruise with Justin and Carrie from WDJC.

Church on Sunday was really great. But I can't wait until youth on Wednesday night. Anyways, I think that's about it. There's not really anything else to say. I've said it all. I'll write later. byah

Amber Sheree

2005-04-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

What up!,

Ok so where to start. Well I think a great place to start is to say that I love God with all of my heart and have just realized that I am exactly where I need to be and where God wants me to be. Knowing you're in his will is an awesome feeling.

The studio is doing so well, and I'm so glad because it's about time. You know I prayed that if it were Gods will that doors would be open. And doors were open and things just kinda fell in my lap and into place. But when things got a little rough I started doubted. Who wouldn't when you're afraid your name is going to be destroyed along with your business. Then, a really awesome lady, the one that cuts my hair, told me one day that I had to pray specifically for what I needed. So I started praying for 10 new students or 3ooo dollars. But I didn't get 10 new students, I got 14. So not only does my God supply, he will give me more than my needs.

My uncle preached on being divided the other night. And it's really kinda funny that he did. Because the next day I faced challanges that had to do a lot with the sermon. Unce Tim was talking about not having more "good than evil" in your life but not having evil at all, because it will only help to distroy you. Because a house divided can not stand. Well that was Wednesday night. And my ex boyfriend called on Thursday. He started the conversation with "I think we could be friends. I really miss you and I care about you." And it was at that point that I realized what was happening. And that God didn't want me to have any part of my "old life", not even being friends with it. God is amazing in his timing, and is never wrong.

Lets see.......what else is going on. I've just realized that God has replaced that relationship that I thought was so great, with really amazing and awesome friends. The dance studio is getting ready for it's first ever recital and I'm so excited. I'm "talking to" and building an awesome friendship (maybe more some day) with a really awesome guy. I'm learning that just because my ministry isn't in the church doesn't mean that I'm not reaching kids and following God's voice. My youth group is totally awesome. My church is totally awesome. My best friend is going to have a baby. Which in basically means I'm going to be an Aunt. I'm so siked. I love you nemo. If I missed anyone I'm sure you'll let me know. I love you guys. Check you soon. byah